Happiness in Small Things

So...two blogs in two days, that's uncommon for me since at least last year if not before. But when I sat down to my computer I felt the need to write a blog; I'm just going to run with it.

And tonight, what I wish to talk about is...finding that happiness in the small things, in moments you totally don't expect. Certainly I was surprised today, really surprised actually in a way I was never expecting. I've moved across country again, settling into a new place, getting to know new people and just...its taxing on someone as shy and nervous as I am. I slept in today, worn out and even when I did wake up I just lay there in bed for a long moment, thinking about everything. Not in a bad way, just taking a mental stock and such.

Sunshine had to actually come into the bedroom and talk to me before I started to move and get dressed and the like, I think I had worried her a bit as it had passed two pm and I still hadn't moved around much. But I did get up, and get dressed and things picked up from there. I felt so low on energy and a little anti social, in fact the idea of going out tonight (its Wed night and there's a Wed night dinner group) made me want to shrink up and hide. I almost said I would just stay home. But online was Master and logging into a new site I've joined provided to 'perk' me up a bit. Its a site that's focused mostly on the world of the Kushiel books, and I joined for research mostly for a story I'm writing with Sunshine but the people there have been so nice and lively.

One, a female, seems to know just how to push my buttons and has gotten me squirming and Master chuckling and commenting how 'hot' our PMs are when I shared a bit. Another member on there, a male, and I have hit if off chatting and even flirting a touch. He convinced me to go into the group chat for the site and that was so much fun and so lively and then when I shared my DA (deviant art) link I got lots of compliments on my art work and a "WOW YOU ARE SMOKING" comment with a chorus of agreements. Which of course, when told Master agreed with and Sunshine as well. So I was feeling better by the time we left and then over there I met the third girl friend of the group, L, who was bright and happy and so easy to talk to. I was glad though, that for a bit it was just her, Sunshine and myself so I could work into it slowly. Ari and her hubby showed up next and that was fun, I was so happy to see Ari and the girls had a fun time all talking and her hubby is witty and easy to get along with. The last to show up was Sunshine's Love, and he's so easy to be around that I was really happy to see him.

We all went out to dinner.

I remember a time, back in April when I went out with M and her fiance in Michigan and a group of their friends. It was fun, to go out with a group, they were nice but...I was left out of the conversation a lot. I felt like 'extra'. Hell I felt that way when I went to NYC with Aeval, M and M's fiance with just the four of us.

But tonight I didn't. I felt like part of the group, an important part. And they kept asking questions about Master too. L, and the other girl's men are big college football followers and wanted to know what he liked/hated and such so I actually was texting Master asking him questions about football. Not something I ever imagined. We all laughed and joked and I even joined in on conversation, over coming my shyness to tease and such. We then went back to Ari's place to hang out and Sunshine and I shared information about Gwiv with L who finds it fascinating.

I've been flirty, silly, teasing and lively with people today outside of Master. I've felt accepted and a part of a large group, more then three people! I went to a public place without Master with lots of people and didn't freak out or clam up. I'm pretty proud of myself.

I feel so good about myself, sure I want to loose a little weight here and there but I look in the mirror and like what I see. I feel smart and accomplished. I got two A's this past semester from my school which is a feat in and of itself. And I'm just -happy- right now. All I need is to have Master here and life would be complete.

Thankfully for my sanity though tomorrow and Friday should be slower with no going out. Saturday we apparently might be going to a movie. And then sometime Sunday/Monday/Tuesday I'll be going over to see Aunt L and catch up with her for a few hours. Tuesday Sunshine, Ari and L and I are all going to have a girls day, though depending on everyone's levels we might be going to downtown Dallas for a 'art culture' day at the museum's and galleries or staying here at Sunshine's house for writing and just hanging out. Life is full and happy and this looks to be the best summer of my life.