The Big Move

The big move.

I have been with my Love for nearing two years now, hard to believe sometimes and others, usually, it feels like he’s always been there, always been a part of me. We started out long distance, he in Alabama and I in California, and I was so sure it was impossible, that nothing would ever come from it. I’ve seen people try long distance before and not often does it work out or ever translate into something in real life.

Mine has however.

This past weekend I have been noticeably absent from my normal online haunts. That is partly my fault, issues with getting internet service set up, but also the fact that we have been moving in together. It’s a lot more work then one would think, certainly more then I thought.

We have this apartment together now, a two bedroom place to call ours. Its ours, its not his family’s home or mine, its not a hotel, its not a friend’s house. After always visiting, never staying we finally have a home together. And its wonderful.

I love the apartment, I really do, though there are a few things that I’d like management to fix. Like the shower guard left on in the master bath or the kitchen drawer that likes to fall off its runners. But they are small things, small issues, over all I’m thrilled. Exhausted but thrilled. We’ve got most of the furniture set up in the master bedroom, our first focus after the kitchen was handled. Last night we found some issues with the cable that is going to be fixed today hopefully but that’s fine.

Our first dinner in the apartment was two nights ago now, and we don’t have a table. I had made French bread pizza and I found this small in table type thing, clearly meant just to be at the side of something. But I brought it into our huge kitchen and got two chairs. Bistro style almost. We had lemonade with the pizza and it was a delicious and wonderful meal, we talked about things and just relaxed together.

Yesterday was errands and lunch with friends. He made chili when we got back and oh was it divine (from someone who usually doesn’t like chili!), though was waited for till dinner time. The TV wouldn’t work in the bedroom, but in the living room so we set up an area to sit out there and ate watching food network. We bought this recipe booklet the other day in WalMart, full of bacon recipes, something we both love. We went over which ones we liked and didn’t and then we talked about a menu for the week. I loved it. It was completely wonderful.

This morning he woke me up

This weekend hasn’t been all honeymoon glow though, not by far. I started my period Saturday morning just before we had to start moving furniture and after a three month absence it descended upon me with vengeance. It still hasn’t let up either. And I banged up my foot, had a break down over fitting into my old swimsuit and otherwise have been a moody mess. But that’s okay, because he still loves me and I still love him.

This is what we have wanted for so long, this is what we have dreamed of and you know what? Even though it isn’t perfect it….it is in a way. Its better then perfect because neither of us is perfect but even when I’m hurting and cranky he can cheer me up and make me laugh and I, even in my most petulant can get a chuckle from him and be adoringly cute (at this time I think of it as a good thing, at the time when it happened I was soooo steamed!).

Sometimes reality, as nitty gritty and frustrating as it can be is even better then the dream. Even with being poor.

I cherish the counting of money, the budgeting, last night after the menu we made an Excel sheet to keep track of what main food things we buy cost where. It was a little thing, probably something most people would have found annoying but to me it was wonderful. It was domestic, it was us working together to make life work. This isn’t a visit anymore, this isn’t a long distance hopeless romance.

This is life, my life and I welcome it, I celebrate it.

I know there will be times when we drive each other crazy, I know there’s moments even this weekend when both of us have thought “are we really ready for this?”. But I think I found a secret in life for me.

You are never ready for that next step, not really because you can never full know what it will entail and what will come of it. But not being ready is part of the glory of life, you learn, you grow, you strive and things are better then you can ever imagine because of it.

In a lot of places on the web my name is Wistful Dream, I’m a dreamer, wistful and hopeful, full of romance and great plans. I’ve always found living in dreams to be easier, to dream of a better and brighter future. But now…now I don’t need that anymore. Because my reality is a dream come true, its everything I could have ever wanted and nothing I thought I would want.

I remember when I graduated from high school, I was going to travel the world and be single, I was going to be a journalist and a professor, I had everything so neatly planned out, everything made sense and was utterly practical.

Now I’m Illustration major at a major art school and I have no set career path, I am engaged to a wonderful man, collared to him as well, I am living with someone who loves me for all the oddities of my nature and all that I am.

I don’t need to dream as much anymore, I found love, I found my home.

And it feels so very very good.