Contentment

Such a simple, nice word no? Content. I am content.

Actually, right now I'm walking on clouds. I just got a B on my first painting for the semester, which I was not expecting. After struggling with it for a few days I finally stepped back, said I was done and resigned myself to a C, after all that was what I got repeatedly last semester, much to my annoyance and sorrow. But I got a B, straight off. Have to say that makes me so beyond happy, so eager for more this semester. And yes, the semester has started again. I'm still going to the Academy, no plans to transfer, to change anything. I am a Fine Art's Painting major at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco. Now that felt good to say.

Can you tell I'm a bit silly tonight?

Oh well, its me, just another part of me, and I feel so light at heart, so at peace and ease with myself, in a way I really don't think I've known before. My new years resolution to live life for me, for what I want, has turned out rather amazingly. I ended up dating the most amazing guy in the whole world (well for me at least xp), falling in love in a way I never thought I could. And a few months later my happiness was further compounded by him collaring me and finally I had both a protector, a Prince, and the Dom, the Master I always ached for. Sometimes you really can get everything you want in a partner apparently. I went to art school, something some of my family and friends frowned up, I've traveled, I've made love (and god damn, was it amazing), I've made friends, I've opened up and blossomed. And I keep doing so. I'm still afraid sometimes, I still second guess myself, but this is my life and I only get to be young once, might as well make the most of it. My brushes for the canvas that is this year of my life have been carefully chosen and the colors, oh my colors are many and varied. I'm experiencing so much, open to it, loving, thriving.

For this semester I'm taking

Still Life Painting (and I got a B! Yes repeating that, still afterglow lol)
Art History 15th century through the 19th (dear heavens do I adore this class)
Film Post 1940 (interesting but betting this will be my hard class, so lost)
Digital Photography and Photoshop (I hate photoshop)


I love my classes, the challenges they give me. The academic chhallenge, its revved up my mind again and I really really do adore school, its my happy place. It stimulates me, it has clear boundaries and rules, you do this, you get this, and I'm learning such wonderful things. I know a BFA in Fine Arts probably isn't all that practical in this economy, but you know what? Its what I want, its what I feel I need to do, so its what I'm doing and I have faith life will work out in the end. Just like with Mon Voleur, may not know how practical it is for us to be together at times, states part for months at a time, but in the end, things will work out, because its meant to be. There's a release in believing that.

My creativity is just flowing lately, I'm writing, painting, singing and loving life.

I'm lucky enough that this month I get to live with Mon Voleur, which would be another reason why I'm so blissfully happy. How can a girl not be when she sleeps in his bed? When he holds her, loves her, caresses her, feeds her and cherishes her. I spent nearly every waking moment with him and I love every second of it. He is my world, my everything, my heart, my Thief in truth. I can't imagine my life without him, forever I am his......okay off ramble about the most wonderful man I have ever known.

I keep meeting new people and learning about them, making new friends, opening myself up more. I'm learning that I am special, beautiful, that I really do have something new and wonderful to offer the world, and I'm going to make sure I give it. I know I'm blessed, to have found a Master that fits so perfectly with what I need, with what I have always wanted, to be able to go to one of the best art schools, to have such wonderful friends, to know so much about myself so young. But I promsie, I won't be lazy, I won't let my time slip by, I'll live my life to the fullest, cherishing each moment and focusing on my future, on the future I want to build and paint and create.

Brush strokes people, I'm loving these brush strokes.